Chapter 3:

Mistakes That Can Make You Lose Your Ex Forever

Synopsis

It is very common to be overcome by desperation when trying to get back an ex. In this chapter, you will learn some of the things that you should never do.

 

 

There are times when an ex may be considering coming back to you. However, you may actually make them change their minds by doing certain things .Some mistakes can actually convince your ex that leaving you was the best thing to do.

 

Errors

Being Too Nice

 

This is actually one of the biggest mistakes that you can ever make. Some people think that they can win their ex back by simply showing them just how good they are. There are others who decide to be push-over or doormats in the quest to winning their exes back. It is ok to be nice but it’s not ok to be too nice. This may push your ex away.

 

You should learn to be your own person. You won’t win your ex back by simply agreeing with everything their do. You have your own mind and are entitled to your own opinions. Your partner will respect you more if they realize that you have the ability to make independent decisions. If you broke up because of a disagreement; try to explain your point of view without compromising too much. However, don’t be condescending or too argumentative.

 

Being too nice may be perceived as a sign of having low self-esteem or being insecure. It may actually be a turn off. There are many people who find this to be very boring. Nobody wants to be stuck with someone who doesn’t have a mind of their own.

 

Trying To Force Them To Come Back To You

 

If your ex wants to come back to you, they will make this decision on their own. Don’t try to force them into making this decision. It’s not wise to come down with a list of reasons as to why they need to come back to you. Don’t try to argue with them or push them to make decisions. You can’t force anyone to be with you. Trying to do so will only work against you.

 

If a person wants to be with you, this will come from the heart. This is something that they can only do out of their own volition. Love isn’t something that relies on logic. It is easy to use facts to convince someone to change their lifestyles. For instance, telling someone about the dangers of smoking can help them quit the habit. However, using logic to tell someone why they have to be with you will not work.

 

Being Over-Apologetic

 

It’s ok to say that you’re sorry, however, doing keep doing this over and over again. It can be very annoying! If you keep pushing it, you will end up pushing your ex away for good. No matter how guilty you may be feeling this isn’t a good move at all.

 

Acting desperate and begging your ex isn’t a good move to get them back.

 

Over Compromising

 

You can make some good changes in your life so as to get your ex back. For instance, if your ex had a problem with you working long hours or drinking, you can change these things to make your relationship work. However, you can’t change who you are. If you like certain things, that’s innate, you lover should be able to accept you the way you are. For instance, if you are someone who stands up for yourself, your ex should be ok with this.

 

There are many people who like to use this phrase to get their ex back, “please come back, I’ll be anything you want me to be, I’ll give you anything you want and do exactly what you say”. This isn’t a good mood. It reeks of desperation and is likely to push your ex further away. In addition, anyone who can take you back on such conditions is not someone who loves you. A good relationship isn’t based on one person giving up their individuality and becoming a doormat for someone else.

 

Trying To Use Money to Buy Their Love

 

There is a popular love song by a band called Blackstreet by the title “Money can buy me love”. Genuine love isn’t based on money or materialistic things. If you want your ex back, going out to the car dealership and getting them a new car is not the best move to make. You shouldn’t also give them money at all. This may not be taken well. Your ex may be offended and feel cheapened. You can’t buy love so don’t attempt to.

 

Even if you used to offer some financial support to your ex, if you had to stop when you broke up, then you have to respect them. Trying to offer them the support so as to make them realize that they need you is a very bad move.

Trying to buy love also reflects very badly on you. It shows that you are trying to compensate for something that you don’t have with money. It can signify low self-esteem or lack of confidence. It says that there is nothing else that you can offer apart from your money. This isn’t a trait that anyone would want in a genuine lover.

 

Trying To Convince Your Ex That You Love Them

 

Some people believe that a person will come back to them once they realize just how much they love them. This pushes them to keep telling the ex, “I love you” over and over again. Saying that you love someone once is understandable; reminding them ten times a day is a bit too much.

 

Too much affection can be suffocating. It also shows a serious sign of desperation. In addition, your feelings matter just as much as your partners. You may still love them but they may be in doubt their love for you due to the break-up. This means that you aren’t on the same page.

 

In addition to repelling your ex, this strategy just doesn’t work. If you have ever been in a bad relationship that made you so unhappy and you just couldn’t wait to live, think about that for a minute. If your ex tried to get you back by saying they love you, will that work? If you broke up over an issue then verbal expressions of love will not resolve this issue.

 

Ignoring the Laws Of Attraction

 

Do you remember when you started dating, how much you were attracted to each other? You probably used to take the time to make yourself look very good before you went out on the date? Some people even buy new clothes so as to impress a person. Attraction is very important in getting someone interested in you.

 

When you are trying to get your ex back, you have to go back to this. You can’t just wear your dress from last night’s party and show up the next day to talk to your ex. Break ups are hard and some people let go of themselves during this time. They stop putting any effort into their appearance. They also feel like they don’t have any reason to even look good.

 

If you are meeting your ex, you have to pay close attention to your looks. Dress up and get them attracted to you again.

 

Don’t let your ex see you looking bad. If you have to mourn the loss of your relationship, do it where they can’t see you. Looking like a slouch and not taking caring of yourself may actually make your ex wonder what they ever saw in you in the first place.

 

Suicide Threats

 

Why would you even want to get to this point? “I’ll kill myself if you don’t come back”. This statement will not work under any circumstance. Actually, if you want to lose your ex forever then go ahead and try and do this. This is a pathetic attempt to get their attention.

 

Suicide threats may work in a couple of ways. It may convince your ex that they are better off without you since you clearly seem to be mentally unstable. It may also make your ex resent you. Nobody would like to be put in such a position. Giving someone such power over you isn’t right. It may make them feel like the “bad guy” therefore causing them to go further away from you.

 

You will never hear of a couple that is staying together just to keep one of them from taking their own life. Whatever you do, don’t try to threaten your ex with suicide.It won’t work!

 

Threatening to kill yourself will not bring your ex back.

 

Being Too Flirty or Seductive

 

You want your ex to fall in love with you again not to fall in-lust with you. You should look good but don’t overdo it. Don’t try to seduce your ex. This may work for only a night but then once that’s done, the ex will still remain the ex. They may actually lose respect for you for stopping as low as trying to use sex to get them back.

 

Some people may feel used by you. They may feel like you took advantage of them. This will only cause further resentment. This move may also hurt you. You may give your body to your ex but they just sleep with you and then walk away again. This will take a worse toll on you then when they left the first time round.

 

Don’t be too seductive or flirty. This may scare away your ex.

 

Trying To Rush Things

 

Your ex probably still has feelings for you. This will make them listen to you or try to give you chance to explain things or try to make things work. However, don’t try to rush them to make up their minds. You can just expect them to come back to you if they are not ready.

 

You should also avoid giving them ultimatums. This never works.”If you don’t come back by next month, I am moving on”. This isn’t a statement that you should ever use. It will definitely work against you and you can easily lose your ex forever at this point.

 

Contacting Your Ex Frequently

 

Trying to contact your ex all the time isn’t a good move. Don’t keep calling or showing up at their homes or place of work. This can even be perceived as stalking. You may become a nuisance and therefore end up pushing your ex away. If you contact them, keep it simple and don’t over-do it.

 

You may also attempt to keep on checking up on them so as to show them that you love them and still care. However, this can also turn into a nuisance when you take it too far. Even if your ex isn’t feeling well, calling them up on hourly basis is still too pushy.

 

Don’t keep contacting your ex every time. This may be regarded as stalking.

 

Being Indecisive

 

Don’t go trying to get your ex back if at all, you haven’t fully made up your mind. First, find out whether or not this is what you really want. If you are indecisive, this will definitely show. Your ex will sense this and they may pull away. In addition, you won’t be able to come up with a good plan to get someone back if at you aren’t even sure about what you are doing.

 

Stay Away From Mind Games

 

One of the most popular mind games is trying to make your ex jealous by flirting with someone else. This actually never works! Showing up at your ex’s favorite hang out with another person in your arm is a clear indication that you don’t want your ex back. It’s also a sign of disrespect may make your ex loose respect for you and start thinking that you are of loose morals. This will convince them that leaving you was the right decision.

 

Don’t Panic Over Rebounds

 

Your ex may have started seeing someone else as a rebound. This is may be hurtful and may break your heart. However, rebounds don’t last most of the time. Take a deep breath and calm yourself down. If your ex is meant to be with you, they will. This rebound relationship isn’t going to keep them away.

                  

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