Chapter 6:
The Approach
Synopsis
Getting someone to fall in love with you might seem to be an uphill task, but everything depends
on the initial approach. How you meet people is important. In fact, how a person responds to you
depends largely on the way that you approach them. Here we shall take a look at the methods of
approach that work, and what you can do to improve your approach towards people.
How to Approach Someone You Want to Fall in Love with You
Everything that we have spoken about in this book so far has been towards this end… approaching
someone with the intention that they should fall in love with you. This is what I have given you
tips on so far. Tips on how you can create a dazzling personality and the right demeanor so that
when you approach someone for the first time, you meet with the words you want to hear.
So, you see someone you find interesting. They look great and you would really want to hang out with them. But, do you want them to fall in love with you? Or the other way round? Maybe not
yet. It is advisable to first find out about the other person and see whether you really want to hook up with them. Remember that it is the love we are talking about here, not infatuation.
Once you have thoroughly decided that you want this person to fall in love with you, you can make your move.
How do you approach them? Here are some tips.
- ® The first thing you would need is confidence. Do not be shaky or jittery; that would only show you in a bad light. You are a person, they are a person as well. Maybe they have similar thoughts in their mind too. Keep this in mind. Do not be cowed down by the fear of failure. Keep your spirits high and sally on.
- ® Do not be worried of the result. Do not think too far into the future. Maybe just a casual date is good for the moment. Do not expect more than that. That way, whatever happens, you will not be affected too much.
- ® Be casual. Do not put on an act. Most importantly, do not rehearse. Just think for a moment what you will say and then go on. If you think too much, things may belie your expectations.
- ® Be sincere when you approach them. Look at them in the eye, but do not leer. Have a smile on your face. Look cool but not imposing. Do not put on a face that shows you are bored of all these things! At the same time, do not appear overeager like a schoolboy. Be your normal self.
- ® Do not let a previous rejection faze you. If you have tried the approach with someone else before and it has not worked, there is no reason why it should not work this time as well. Every person is different. It is not necessary to change your approach. What did not work for someone may work this time.
These are some things that you have to keep in mind. Most importantly, do not hesitate. Make the move. Whatever happens, you should not let the result affect you too much.
The First Date
So, you won the chance to a first date with someone. Felicitations! Now, what do you do? What do you do to ensure this date goes well and things hit off between the two of you?
Here are some tips.
- Choose a location where both of you would be comfortable. Most people try to impress their first date partners by selecting the most important place on the list. This is not necessary. If you go to a five-star restaurant and are more worried about the right way to sit, what fun is there on your first date? Instead, go to a place where you can both be at ease and can just look forward to spending time with each other.
- At the same time, a little bit of entertainment on your first date can be a good idea, especially if you do not know the other person at all. These things could be icebreakers.You could go for a bowling date or even a movie date. Discussing the movie at the end of it can be a great conversation starter between the two of you.
- Do not overdress. It is a very bad impression… you should not look overeager. Be your own casual self, but at the same time, do take the pains to select an elegant everyday dress. Also, if you are used to dressing sexily even on your normal days, avoid that on your first date. Do not dress provocatively. That might send the impression that you are only looking for a sexual encounter. Dress what suits you best and what you are most comfortable in.
- Have great conversation throughout your first date. Let there not be a moment of silence… avoid those awkward pauses. At the same time, there are some things you need to avoid talking about on your first date. Do not talk about the problems in your life. You don’t want to saddle a strange person with your job travails. Do not speak about things that they may have a strong opinion about, like the tax system in your state. Speak on neutral topics, topics that you are sure will be good for conversation and not too polarizing.
- Most importantly, do not expect too much from the other person on your first date.Do not judge them all the time. They are just as nervous as you are. If you are slipping up, chances are that they are slipping up too. In fact, you should do your best to make them feel at ease. Avoid those prying looks into their plate to see what they are eating, for example.
- Pay attention to the date. Do not get distracted. Do not think too much about what food to order, what movie to watch, etc. Your attention should be focused on spending time with the person you are with.
- When parting, be casual. Do not tell them that you will call them if you won’t. Do not force a second date. Both of you need some time and space to think whether you want to do it again; it is in your best interests. Should you kiss on your first date? That definitely depends on how the date went. Was there any chemistry between the two of you?
Keep these things in mind when you are on your first date. You want your first date to be a success if you want the other person to fall in love with you.
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