Chapter 2:

Changing the Way You Think

Synopsis

If you want to develop a wonderful personality that always impresses people, then you have to begin with self-improvement.

We already talked about self-realization in the previous chapter, where you analyze yourself truthfully and see where you stand.

Now, when you are better aware of what kind of person you are, the next step would be to improve upon yourself.

When we are talking about love – whether it is about falling in it or making others fall in love with you – the most important thing is to improve the mind.

You have to have a clear thought process. You should not let your mind be riddled with negativism and pessimism.

You have to keep the hope alive. A positive mindset is what everyone likes. You cannot expect anyone to fall in love with you when you are a brooding, depressed or angry person.

We shall talk here about the mindset you should project if you want to make people fall in love with you. If you want, this mindset can be created within a day. If you don’t, it will take ages but you won’t be able to change the way you think.

 

What Do You Think about Yourself?

More than the impact of any other influence on your mind is the impact of your own thinking. What do you think about yourself? You will find that most people become what they think about themselves.

 

I am a teacher. I teach kids at a very impressionable age… they are between 14 and 16 years when I teach them. I recall an incident with a boy I was teaching. His name was Mark Munay. Mark was an exceptionally brilliant kid, especially talented in Math. He could work problems that children two years his senior could not.

 

And then one day, one of his school teachers happened to tell him that Mark should not attempt a particular chapter it was Matrices because it was beyond his level.

 

I knew that Mark knew how to solve matrices because he had solved some of those problems for me the week before.

 

But the school teachers influence was greater. A negative influence is always more impactful. Since the teacher told him that the chapter was beyond his level, and since he told it in a very emphatic manner, Mark settled that in his head. After that, he never worked Matrices well, not even two years later when he was of the age when children normally learn the topic.

 

This happened because Mark told himself he could not do it. He let an external influence decide what he was capable of.

 

Knowingly or unknowingly, we let that happen to ourselves too. Whether these people mean well or not, they often disorient us. Our family, our friends, our employers, our teachers… they all tell us things that we use to build an impression about ourselves.

 

If only we could sit and allow our minds to decide what we are capable of! Things would be so different then!

 

If you are thinking why people all around you are finding love and why you are behind in the race, then probably you need to look within your own mind first. Have you built some invisible barricades around yourself? Probably you are telling yourself that you are not worthy of love.

Probably you are stopping yourself from reaching out to people on account of that. It is because of such things that people start looking at you negatively too. After all, if you look at yourself myopically, people are going to do the same.

 

There are two things you have to bear in mind here…

 

How Optimistic Can You Be?

Following from our previous discussion, we come to a very important point here.

 

You have to be optimistic.

 

If you give it a thought, it is optimism that has kept us going all through the ages. If it weren’t for hope, people would have given up, communities would have faltered, countries would have perished, the world wouldn’t have sustained itself the way it has. Optimism has kept us alive all through.

 

And, now, when you are hoping that people will fall in love with you, it will be optimism that will illuminate your path.

 

What is optimism? In the Oxford Dictionary, it is defined as:-

 

Optimism (n): hopefulness and confidence about the future or the success of something

 

In our context, when you are optimistic, you are hopeful that people will love you. That is, they will appreciate you and accept you for what you are.

 

Do you think that will happen? Are you apprehensive about acceptance? If you harbor such apprehensions within yourself, then these apprehensions manifest themselves outwardly as well. If you don’t have confidence within, people can sense it. They can understand that you are not on a sure footing. This can jeopardize your chances of finding love, and be finding success in anything.

 

If your intention is to succeed in anything then the most important thing is to build an unflagging amount of confidence within yourself. This comes through optimism. Be hopeful that positive things will happen. That will give you the confidence to try out new things. That will give you the confidence to approach people in the way you should.

 

In improving your way of thinking, a very important contribution is of how positively you can think. Shun all the debilitating thoughts and move ahead.

 

Believe in the Law of Attraction, which says…

Like attracts like.

 

If you think positive, then positive things are going to happen to you. If you believe staunchly that something will happen, then everything around you will align itself in such a way that these things start taking shape. That’s the power of optimism. Be optimistic, and you will find things actually happening the way you believe them to be.

                  

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